FAQ About My Transition from Ghoul to Boi

(Credit to whoever made this meme, if you know please let me know)

This may (or may not) come as a surprise, but I am transgender and am starting the process of socially and medically transitioning from ghoul to boi. I feel comfortable and confident enough with where I’m at in my transition and gender identity to ask that you start using he/him pronouns when referring to me. 

I love sharing information and knowledge about topics that I am passionate about so, for the most part, I am happy to answer some of the questions you may have about my transition. If you have a question that I don’t answer below, I encourage you to research the question yourself first, before you ask me. Google is a great place to start, and the resources I provide are all reliable sources with lots of additional information to sate your curiosity. 

My experience and preferences differ from some of those depicted within the content of the resources to varying degrees, but I feel that they do a good job of explaining the broader topics, and will help give you additional insight into the questions/answers, especially if you are unfamiliar with any of the terms or concepts.

All that being said, I appreciate your discretion** for the time being as I am not "out " to everyone yet. I thank you for your curiosity and compassion as I navigate this transitionary part of my life.

**Out of respect, please do not share this page without my permission. If you would like to share it with someone, please ask me first.

Resource Links:

Understanding Transgender People: The Basics

Transgender in BC

There are more than two human sexes

Some Myths about Trans Men and Transitioning

LGBTGI+ Glossary of Terms

I am currently* comfortable referring to myself as nonbinary, transmasc/transmasculine, and as a trans man (or transguy).

If you want more info about my pronouns and preferences, please refer to this question and My Pronoun Page.

Resource links:

Can I be both transgender and nonbinary?

A short video about how being nonbinary goes beyond aesthetics and androgyny

*Subject to change if I find alternative labels I’m more comfortable with. 

No, I am not changing my first or last name. ‘Jeseye’ is a unique version of a unisex/gender-neutral name (Jesse/Jessie) and I’m quite happy with it as is. Since this is the case, ‘deadnaming’ will not be an issue. I may change my middle name at some point, but it's very low priority.

1. Primary Pronouns (ie. my fave): He/Him (his/himself)
2. Secondary Pronouns: They/Them (their/theirs/themself)

I feel the happiest when masculine adjectives/pronouns/slang are used to refer to me. 

For a detailed list of my pronouns and other ways to refer to me, please visit My Pronouns Page.

For additional pronouns/adjectives/slang that are not listed, feel free to ask me. 

If referring to me without regard to gender the following list (written by tumblr username l0st-vegas) is also acceptable:

• "he" in the way you call an animal you don't know the gender of "a little guy"
• "she" in the way sailors refer to their boats [or "that's what she said" jokes]
• "they" in the way people say "they say that___", a faceless and all-knowing collective. You are anything, you are everything.*

Resource Links:

He/They Pronouns

An overview of pronouns and different ways you can use them

A short video breakdown of what pronouns are

I am still in the early phase of my social transition, so at this point, if the person you're talking to doesn't know about my transition, please refer to both "pre-transition" me and current me in gender-neutral terms. For the most part, I am comfortable with other people knowing that I am nonbinary and that I use they/them pronouns.

Please do not "out" me by sharing information that I am transgender, transmasculine, and/or that I use he/him pronouns without my permission as it could be detrimental. Sharing this information could lead to me experiencing transphobia/transmisia and harassment, which I would like to avoid as much as possible.

If you are speaking with someone I'm out to already, then please use masculine terms to refer to both past and present me. 

If you are telling a story about me or referring to me before I came out as trans, and if you feel it’s absolutely necessary to clarify it was “back before”, you can use the following to clarify:

• “…back when he was ‘she-ing’…”
• “…back when they were she-ing’…”
• “…before his/their transition…”
• “…before his/their ‘U-Woman’ subscription expired…”
• “…pre-transition…”

If you want to use something along those lines but aren’t sure if the wording is appropriate, feel free to send me a message and ask. 

Resource Links:

How do I talk about my daughter pre-transition?**

*"The past" in this context refers to any time before I began to socially transition.

**Please note that—as with all of the questions I am answering—these are all personal preferences and other trans/nonbinary people may feel differently about these things. That is normal and okay.

If you slip up and say ‘she’ when you mean ‘he’ (or ‘they’), you don’t need to apologize profusely, just follow the mistake with the right term and continue what you were saying. I understand that over the last 30(ish) years you’ve been accustomed to using feminine language when referring to me and that mistakes happen. As long as you are considerate and do your best to avoid misgendering me, I will be patient with you.

Reference Links:

Tips for Trans Allies

Transgender Issues: How to Respect a Trans Person

A short video showing an example of intentional misgendering (slightly humorous in delivery)

Because I know what I want, who I am, and how I want to live my life. If you want all of my lore, you are welcome to ask, however, what I choose to disclose will depend highly on the relationship I have with you, and where I’m at when you ask. 

Resource Links:

Frequently Asked Questions About Transgender People

Transgender FAQ

Yes! I had top surgery at the end of October, which went really well. I’m extremely happy with the results. Some of the reasons that contributed to my decision are below. I'm not going to share all of the reasons because they're personal and I don't owe explanations to anyone, however, I am willing to share some of the more obvious ones:

• Lowering the risk of breast cancer
• Gender-affirming (to gain a more masculine-shaped chest)
• Being able to be topless more often (ex: swimming, at the beach, outside in general)
• Mesh shirts
• Button-up shirts (will actually fit the way I want them to)
• Better posture (literally getting weight off my chest)
• More tattoo real estate
• Exercising will be more comfortable (especially running/jogging)
• No more boob sweat
• No need for bras or sports bras
• No more boob pain during pms/periods

In general, I may or may not decide to disclose more information about my surgery, as it is a very personal choice, I don’t feel the need to share it with everyone. 

Resource Links:

Questionable Questions About Transgender Identity

*Typically, it is not considered polite/respectful to ask a trans person (or any person really) about the surgical/medical plans they may or may not have for themselves. It is a very personal topic, and their privacy should be respected.

Yes. I started testosterone-based hormone therapy (aka "T") at the end of December, 2023. I have many reasons for my decision, some of which I am comfortable sharing, and some of which I am not comfortable sharing. The reasons I'm comfortable sharing are the following:

• A reduction or complete cessation of my monthly menstruation (hopefully!)
• A reduction or cessation of my PMS/PMDD issues (hopefully!)
• Suppression of my endometriosis
• I had a bilateral salpingectomy in August 2023 (the removal of both of my fallopian tubes so that I cannot become pregnant), and during the laparoscopic procedure, they discovered I have stage 1 endometriosis. My surgeon recommended testosterone to help prevent the endo from progressing, so win-win lol)
• Better muscle gain and definition
• Gender-affirming physical changes (ex: general masculinization, including a deeper voice, facial hair, and fat redistribution)

I may choose to share more information about this with certain people at a certain time. These things are very personal so in general I may choose not to disclose more. 

Resource Links:

Questionable Questions About Transgender Identity

9 Myths You Might've Believed About Testosterone HRT

*Typically, it is not considered polite/respectful to ask a trans person (or any person really) about the surgical/medical plans they may or may not have for themselves. It is a very personal topic, and their privacy should be respected.

I may choose to share this information with certain people at a certain time, however, at this point, I am choosing not to disclose information about whether or not I will have bottom surgery. Regardless of what I decide, it is a very personal choice and I don’t feel the need to share it with everyone. 

Resource Links:

Questionable Questions About Transgender Identity

I have a vagina. I am not a woman. And I am totally cool with that.

Transcare BC: Lower Body Surgeries

*Typically, it is not considered polite/respectful to ask a trans person (or any person really) about the surgical/medical plans they may or may not have for themselves or their genitals. It is a very personal topic, and their privacy should be respected.